In July, I blogged about my word for the year, fearless. In my earlier blog, I had a hard time accepting fearless as my word. Fearless...this is way too hard, I really like my comfort zone bubble.
I said, “Yes to fearless.”
Then, “No to fearless, that is being reckless.”
But I ultimately said, “Yes to fearless. Choose joy, be fearless.”
I created "My Be Fearless List" or the list that I just knew was going to push me outside my comfort zone:
- Be adventurous. Travel by myself. Prove to myself I can navigate in a large city without my husband.
- Take more risks in my classroom, push the innovation envelope.
- Pursue another college degree.
- Blog. Practice my writing. Pursue my goal of writing a book.
- Start a new business venture.
In my mind, my fearless year was going to be this big, brave year of me going outside my comfort zone, pursuing goals that necessarily aren’t in my skill set.
My year of fearless hasn’t started out with checking off items on my fearless list. However, my year of fearless has pushed me outside my comfort zone, to a life of simplicity. Ever since I can remember, I thrived on busyness. From teaching to coaching, to kids activities to professional organizations to meeting after meeting and in between all of these things, maintaining a house. I thrived on making it all work. I thrived on busyness.
I am quickly finding out this year, pushing me outside my comfort zone, is pursuing a “boring life” (if this make any sense), learning to be present. I am learning that being fearless is saying “No”. I am learning fearless is not being on every committee possible. I am learning being fearless is being home on quiet evening just relaxing. I am learning being fearless is letting go of the worry “my calendar has a free evening, how I am going to fill it.” My word, fearless, is showing me a world of simplicity, slowing down, and being present.
In my relentless pursuit of being fearless this year, my idea of fearless has changed. I am being pushed outside my comfort zone..but for the good. Fearless is making me “boring”. And, I am alright with that, because if boring means being present, my heart is full. As, Matthew 6:21 states, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Being fearless is changing my heart. I am not giving up on my fearless list, however, God needed me to first realize the importance of being present. Yes, being fearless is changing my heart.